Loretta Breuning – How To Manage Your Happy Brain Chemicals
#62: Loretta Breuning - How To Manage Your Happy Brain Chemicals
"Take 1 minute every night to think: What did I enjoy about this, that I can hold on to?"
-Loretta Breuning, talks about how to train your brain to remember the good times
Loretta Breuning
in 10 seconds
- Loretta Breuning, PhD is the Founder of the Inner Mammal Institute
- Loretta is the author of the mind-blowing book, Habits of a Happy Brain
- Loretta is a mother to 2 kids (and has a 1-year-old granddaughter)
- Loretta and her family live in Northern California
In today's conversation, you'll learn 3 key things:
- How to manage your brain chemicals (and your kids)
- Why your kids can be such one-uppers
- Why you should not reward bad behavior (and why that can feel so challenging)
Clip: Feel Confident About Your Adult Authority
Watch Time: 2 minutes
YouTube Link:
https://youtu.be/-i5lsOHclMg
Loretta: First off, each of us approach parenting situations with neural pathways from our past experiences.
If you say, for example: “You can’t have the cookie”, and the kid screams, in my case, I would have gotten blamed for the conflict.
What I needed to do that I didn’t know when I was a parent, was to feel confident about my adult authority.
To give myself my own rewards, that said “I know that I have a good reason for her not to have the cookie, and I’m doing a good thing, not a bad thing, by making a consistent statement.”
I’m doing something useful, rather than starting a conflict.
Clip: Serotonin: Why Your Kids Want to One-Up
Watch Time: 2 minutes
YouTube Link:
https://youtu.be/k0BzDJiIAbE
Loretta: When you see you’re in the position of strength, your brain releases a little bit of serotonin, and that’s relaxing.
So, we are constantly comparing ourselves to others, and looking to be in the position of strength.
When you’re the younger child, and you’re never in a position of strength you think “that’s not fair”…and having a meltdown is the time-honored way of doing it.
Clip: Dopamine: Why Kids Want Something New
Watch Time: 2 minutes
YouTube Link:
https://youtu.be/D_8ERiQj2tU
Loretta: Dopamine is the expectation of the reward.
When a toddler sees a toy, and says I want that, that’s dopamine.
I’m going to take steps to get that reward and feel good about it.
Rob: Is that why the day after Christmas isn’t as exciting as looking forward to Christmas morning?
Loretta: Right, once that information is processed, it’s not new.
The cliche is ‘the drug addict is always chasing the first high.’
The day after Christmas is never as high as Christmas Day.
Clip: This Is The Face of Dopamine
Watch Time: 30 seconds
YouTube Link:
https://youtu.be/nJxBK7JH_as
Imagine the first taste of solid food you ever ate in your whole life.
Your dopamine surged and it created the feeling of “Wow! Get me more of this”.
Let’s zoom in on that moment because it helps us understand the dopamine urge for more.
Clip: Oxytocin: Why Kids Go With The Crowd
Watch Time: 1 minute
YouTube Link:
https://youtu.be/FfKNj2vvsRA
Loretta: Oxytocin is often called the cuddle chemical.
It promotes herd behavior in animals. It’s the bonding chemical.
We’re always having that tension between wanting to be off on our own, and feeling threatened when we’re off on our own.
Clip: Give Your Kid Confidence in Making Choices
Watch Time: 2 minutes
YouTube Link:
https://youtu.be/COMlt5mfj5I
Loretta: Let’s say your kid is at the park, and other kids get the idea that they’re going to jump off a high wall.
And your kid is deciding whether he wants do that or not. Maybe they also call him a scaredy cat if he doesn’t do it.
Here’s what you can say to him.
Clip: Your Power to Re-wire Your Happy Brain Chemicals
Watch Time: 5 minutes
YouTube Link:
https://youtu.be/CyuQ6b2ymSA
These 7 short videos show you how to build new neural pathways to turn on your happy brain chemicals in new and healthy ways.
Anyone can do it by following these simple steps.
You’ll learn what turns on each happy chemicals in the state of nature, and why they’re not on all the time.
Then you’ll learn why our unhappy chemicals turn on so easily.
Finally, you’ll learn three simple steps to wire in new self-soothings skills, so you can replace an old habit that you’re better off without.
Clip: Legacy: What Can Your Kids Carry On?
Watch Time: 2 minutes
YouTube Link:
https://youtu.be/wx_5rWXeFkk
Loretta: What did your parents really want you to carry on?
Maybe it’s something you don’t even like that much, but when you do it, just for them, you have a good feeling about it.
LISTEN TO LORETTA’S DAD TIP
Sponsored by: KickstartReading.com
Watch Time: 2 minutes
YouTube Link:
https://youtu.be/rtyGc39yfvs
Loretta: You will later think of this as the time of your life, and wish you had it, and kick yourself for not enjoying it more.
And yet, I fully understand while you’re in it, it’s so hard to enjoy.
You can take a minute, and remind yourself of this good moment.
Thank you Loretta, for teaching us how we can manage our happy brain chemicals, understand our kids better, and be the best Dads we can be!
LISTEN TO MORE EPISODES OF THE DAD THE BEST I CAN SHOW
P.S. If you know a great Dad guest, email me at DadTheBestICan@gmail.com and we’ll get him on the show!
