Hank: I’ll tell you another massive turning point was, I told my kids, because I played college football, I said, if either one of you ever want to play football, even though I’m not pushing you to, but if you ever want to play football, I’ll coach your first season.

And I said this long before this downfall, so I had much more time on my hands at that point.

But of course, in 2005, right when I started my new company and started to build a plan for the future, my older son said, “Dad, I want to play football at NYO”, which is a youth organization in Buckhead.

I said, “Oh my gosh, if there’s ever a time that I don’t have the margin or the capacity to be a coach.”

I had never coached little league football in my life. I didn’t even know what was involved or anything. So I paused when he asked me that.

And 30 seconds later I said, “a commitment is a commitment, I’ll do it.” And he jumped up and down and said, “okay, well I know the coaches are supposed to be there tomorrow night to start drafting their team.”

So I went over and got some of the other dad coaches there to show me the ropes. It was eight-year-old football, and these guys were serious about this. It was much more serious than I thought it would be. So with some help, I drafted my team.

We had two practices a week and a game — three nights of the week committed to football. And I would go to work every day. I had my new company with one assistant, it was just me and her. That was it. I would go to work every day and then I’d have to leave at 3:30 to get ready for practice.

And I’m in a panic mode every day because I don’t have any clients yet, and I’m starting this company with no revenue. I have no business leaving the office to go coach little league football practice. I am in desperation mode. I need to work more than 24 hours a day to get this thing going.

I would drive over to the local coffee shop, run in there and change from my suit into my coaching clothes, drive over to the field, throw out the blocking dummies and the equipment down the hill on the field, and run down there with my brain going a million miles an hour about how I don’t need to be here, because I need to be working.

And then as soon as those kids would get out on the field, I would get engaged. And coaching them, watching my son looking at me while I’m coaching his team — just so, so happy that I was there. It was a really huge turning point for me because the three hours that I was out there coaching, I didn’t think about anything but coaching.

And I don’t know that there’s anything else on this earth that I could have gone and done that would have taken that stress off of my brain for three hours. I don’t think anything else would have done it. And so what started off as a huge burden that I felt like I had no business doing — I did not have the privilege, the margin, the time, I had nothing. I had no reason to be coaching.

It turned out to be one of the things that saved me, because the clarity that I had, the peace of mind that I had when I would leave that practice, I would enjoy it so much and I would get this sense of peace. I would leave practice, not thinking about how I had no clients, no revenues.

I would drive home from practice and for a few minutes, I would think, somehow this is going to be okay. Like the stress was gone. And of course, by the time I woke up the next morning, it was all back. But that experience was worth $5,000 an hour of therapy.

We ended up going undefeated that season and we lost in the championship. But it was just amazing. It was the highlight of my life at that time, and when I committed to do it, I thought, this is going to be the end of me.

It ended up being the thing that gave me the clarity when I was in the office to make the right decisions, and to say the right things, and focus on the clients as they slowly started coming in.

Two massive things happened:

1) I quit trying to relive the past, and started focusing on what the future was going to be.

2) I made my kids the priority, because I think for somebody that cares about being a dad, making your kids the priority gives you such a sense of confidence as a dad, that carries through into other areas of your life.

And when you don’t feel like you’re doing a good job as a dad, and you feel like you’re letting them down, or letting yourself down, that carries through into other areas of your life as well. It deteriorates your confidence in business and in other relationships when you don’t feel like you’re doing what you’re supposed to be doing as a father.

Making your kids the priority, is one of the keys to someone that cares about their role as a father. Because it will carry through into other areas.

And I think there are some dads out there that think ‘it was my company, even though it was suffering I had two employees and no revenues, I could set the hours that I wanted to. And that sounds good, but I don’t get off until this time or that time.’

But I don’t think you have to coach. If your son wants to play football, then go out and make sure you’re in the yard throwing the football with him, make sure you’re at the practices. You’re talking with him about it, you’re engaged in it.

I don’t think it has to be putting yourself as the head coach if you can’t live up to your other responsibilities, but I think your kids knowing and you knowing that they are the priority allows you to be more confident, stronger and healthier in other areas of your life.